


Transcendence AU Prompts

by SandriaC (SandrC)



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: One Shot Collection, Transcendence AU, fluid canon, other people's ocs, warning before the chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-04-10 12:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 15,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4392203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandrC/pseuds/SandriaC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of stories prompted by asks on <a href="http://clockworksinger.tumblr.com">my Tumblr</a>. Not always connected. Flux canon. Various contradictions. Still fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Probablility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [seiya234](http://seiya234.tumblr.com) Prompted:  
>  Triplets! :D

The probability of a twin having triplets was infinitesimal. So was the probability of all three children inheriting their father’s ginger locks. And the probability of all three of them needing glasses and being freckled. Everything about the Pines triplets seemed to defy probability and the very laws of nature themselves.

For example, Hank–-the only boy of the three–-has an uncanny ability to talk his way into someone’s life. With a few well-placed words he can get anyone to spill just about everything they have experienced and their feelings on deeply personal matters. Some people think that he’s a Wordsmith and others think he’s just _really good_ at persuasion. Regardless of that line of thought, he runs one of the most successful supernatural Mafias this side of globe. _Everyone_ knows to stay clear of Hank the Silvertongue–-the man who can break you down with only a few syllables.

And Acacia, the eldest? While she may _seem_ level-headed, she’s actually far more dangerous than she’s given credit for. Sure she paints, and sure she is kinda cute, with her sharp face and a bird’s nest of Hermione-level curls that somehow make her so much more appealing, but never mistake kindness for weakness. It’s said that she’s prone to painting a very specific summoning circle on a lower-layer of her works and giving them to people who have seriously wronged her (not that anyone would _dare_ considering her proficiency with an ax and her siblings’ own… _quirks_.)

And Willow, the youngest. It’s said that when she was very little she got really sick and Mabel and Henry Pines traded away their souls for her life, which left her with some residual demon energy. Sometimes she just stares off into the distance and gets really quiet and pensive, only to return to reality and go about her life as if nothing were wrong. Some people have even said that they’ve seen her summon blue flames from her hands when she was angry, and that her sclera would turn black, her pupils would become slits, and her irises would turn a bright golden color. It is speculated that she still shares some of the energy that the demon left in her when it cured her illness, and that it communes with her on a regular basis.

But what is the most terrifying, improbable thing of all about the Pines triplets is that they are on a nickname-basis with the mighty Alcor the Dreambender. They even call him uncle.


	2. The Devil Went Down to Oregon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [zilleniose](http://zilleniose.tumblr.com) Prompted:  
>  Anything with Dipper and his violin? :>

If there was one thing Dipper never saw coming, it was the violin. Sometimes he would receive some well-done ribbing from Mabel on the subject but, really? A violin-playing demon? Hackneyed at best; just plain pathetic at worst. (What was most embarrassing was that he actually enjoyed it, and loved to play folk tunes and old Romani riffs.) 

So, one day, after having a bit of a tiresome run-in with the latest strange up-cropping of asexual blood-farming-–why had he not stopped that practice where it stood? stupid, stupid, stupid!!!–-he simply floated out to the middle of the woods in Gravity Falls, Oregon, and sawed away on his violin. It was stress-relieving, he had figured out early on, to be alone and to play whatever came to mind. Omniscience–or the closest equivalent to it–more than made up for years of playing the tuba instead of a stringed instrument.

Now if only he could have seen that kid watching him.

People with the Sight were rare to say the least. People with the Sight in Gravity Falls were even more rare since the base energy of the Transcendence and the high rates of supernatural gatherings usually kept those who could See far, far away in fear. This one, it seems, did not get the memo.

“Are you th’ Devil?” Dipper jumped when he heard a small, southern twang come from seemingly out of nowhere. As he took a quick moment to reclaim his composure and ascertain that he was not anywhere near a summoning circle or binding sigil he located the source of the voice. A small girl-–or was it a boy?–-peeked their head from behind a large coniferous tree. Their eyes were wide and bright and glimmered with what read to Dipper as interest and curiosity. Gold glittered in their energy and they looked surprised when Dipper floated towards them, head turned at an unnatural angle.

“Do I look like the Devil, child?” It wasn’t his stage-performer’s voice. Dipper was simply talking in that thin, reedy tone he had acquired upon transcendence unto demon-hood.

“Yeh have a fiddle tho’.” The child pointed out, a chubby finger directed at Dipper’s violin. He fought the urge to correct them and instead just smiled.

“And playing the violin makes me the Devil?”

“Well yer also floatin’ an’ yer eyes are weird an’ yeh haven’t blinked in ferever an’ then there’s the fire all around yeh that’s not burnin’ nuthin.” Dipper was taken aback by the child’s awareness of their surroundings.

“But the Devil?”

“Well…I was told that th’ Devil would take his fiddle an’ wager it against any person’s soul who was dumb enuf t’ take him on. Yer not gonna try an’ take my soul are yeh?” The kid shrunk away from Dipper now, energy swirling with yellow and grey. Dipper just backed off.

“Heh…not a chance. I’ve met my quota of souls for the day and am just relaxing now…” He reclined mid-air and drew a hissing note from his violin before launching into a haunting aria.

The child stared at him, wide-eyed, energy once again sparking with gold and purple and just a little hint of green, the lime green of not-quite envy but a definite want. After a few minutes of Dipper just playing away, the kid spoke up again, coming out from behind the tree.

“You play real well…” they said, scuffing the ground with their bare-foot.

_Why is this kid out in the middle of the Pacific Northwest in the middle of fall without shoes?_ Dipper wondered. “I appreciate that.”

They seemed to struggle with their thoughts for a while, twisting the hem of their dirty T-shirt as they stood there in silence. After a moment, they looked Dipper in the eyes. “Could yeh–ah–mebbe teach me how t’…play th’…vio…li..n…” Their voice trailed off into silence but Dipper’s keen ears caught every word.

He raised one eyebrow and gave a wicked grin. “And what would you give me in return? Surely not your soul; I have no use for it. What do you have that could be useful to me?”

The kid stood there for a bit longer, energy flickering and swirling a soft pattern of gold, green, yellow, and purple. Dipper had almost given up on making a deal with this weird little child until they spoke up, almost too quiet to hear. “I have this…bird. Her name is Fleur…she was m'mam’s an’…if yeh teach me t’ play th’ fiddle  _half_  as good as yeh…I’ll sacrifice her t’ yeh.”

Sincerity in the form of white and rippling bronze determination swum through their energy. Dipper broke into a loud peal of laughter. “Child, you have guts! Tell you what: I’ll give you lessons and in exchange, you bring me candy every time you visit, okay? You keep your mother’s bird.”

The kid was speechless. That simple? Weren’t demons supposed to be harder to deal with than that? Weren’t the supposed to be ruthless, bloodthirsty monsters? It just didn’t make sense! “Um, mister demon!”

“Yes?”

“What’s yer name an’ how will I meet yeh again?”

“My name is Alcor and I’ll meet you here, tomorrow, same time as today. And what is your name?” Dipper tried not to peer to far into the kid’s energy. he liked allowing children their privacy.

“My name’s Sandy an’ thanks mister Alcor! See you tomorrow!” Sandy turned heel and ran back towards the town, leaving Dipper behind and very amused.

He drew a few striking chords on his violin and began to hum a tune to himself.  _What an interesting kid._  He took a deep breath he didn’t need and began to sing in his high tenor. “ _The Devil went down to Oregon, he was looking to a soul to steal…_ ”


	3. Domestic Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [haberdashing](http://haberdashing.tumblr.com) Prompted:  
>  Organ duck! Or, more seriously, what Soos gets up to post-Transcendence. (Maybe his grandmother too.)

Soos and his  _abuelita_  were not particularly steeped in supernatural like many of the citizens of Gravity Falls were after the transcendence. In fact, for the most part they carried on as always. (Although  _abuelita_  was getting into the habit of leaving out food for the gnomes and poor Soos had to shoo away Jeff and the crew more than once because they tried to whisk his  _abuelita_  away to marry her; her cooking was  _that_  good.)

However, things change and sometimes, by chance, it’s for the better. Other times…you get Brian.

“¿ _Qué **es**  eso,_ Soos?” Abuelita turned to face her grandson, confusion causing her brow to knit together.

“I…don’t really know…looks like some sort of–demon-majigger.” Soos, eloquent as always, shrugged his shoulders as they stared at the…thing in the circle before them.

Maybe summoning a demon to help them with dinner wasn’t a smart idea. Never let it be said that Soos wasn’t adventurous.

The thing in question, was what looked like a duck made out of what appeared to be a heart and intravenous material. It dribbled blood and gurgled silently as it stared at the Ramirez family, unmoving. Unflinching. un-blinking.

It was unnerving. (Not to mention the ever-growing pool of blood underneath it.)

“Well…I mean…we summoned it so…I guess we better do something with it.” Soos cast a glance at his  _abuelita_ , who was still staring, wide-eyed, at the organ duck demon. “Um…mighty demon!” He cried–-remembering the few things he had picked up from Mabel, Dipper, and Wendy on demon etiquette–-“We humbly beseech thee! We would…um…like some liver for a meal we’re making…”

The organ duck blinked and gurgled.

“Yeah…meat’s getting kinda expensive and  _abuelita_  wanted to make liver and onions with a yellow-rice pallet and we kinda…can’t afford liver right now. So…um…could you like…get us some without hurting anyone?  _Chicken_  liver though,” he added, knowing that if he didn’t specify what type he might end up with human liver.

The organ duck cocked it’s head and more blood spattered to the ground. Soos held back vomit. Then it spoke in a voice that rattled the shutters of _abuelita_ ’s home and caused a china plate to break inside of the cabinets. “ **AND WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE ME IN EXCHANGE, MORTALS? WHAT HAVE YOU THAT WOULD SATE MY HUNGER?** ”

Soos quivered. That was the scariest demon voice he had ever heard, and he had heard Dipper when he was a little loose around the edges. What was he going to do now??? He couldn’t just back out! He  _really_  wanted liver and onions!

But it was  _abuelita_  who stepped up to the plate next. Back straight as she could and head held high, she looked the organ duck in the eyes and said, “I will feed you whatever rice we do not use.”

“ **AND HOW DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS WILL BE EQUIVALENT TO YOUR DESIRES?** ” The organ duck thundered.

“Because all we want is food,  _demonio, y_  we have a five-pound bag of  _arroz_  in the kitchen. More than enough to feed you.”

The organ duck contemplated this for a minute, pulsating quicker and throwing more blood on the floor. With brief hesitation, it turned its soulless eyes to Soos and his  _abuelita_. “ **IT IS DONE.** ” And with a flash and the smell of burning flesh, twelve chicken livers, freshly harvested, appeared on the ground before the Ramirez family. “ **A STIPULATION,** ” the organ duck said. “ **I GET SOME OF THE ONIONS AS WELL.** ”

“Whatever you want.”  _Abuelita_  replied calmly as she picked up the liver. Soos awkwardly stared at the demon in the circle as his  _abuelita_  brought back a large bag or yellow rice and several green onions. He took the rice and threw it into the circle and followed it with the onions. Then he banished the demon and leaned back against the wall, looking down at the mess on the floor.

“I sure hope this is worth it,” Soos said. “Cause that was the  _creepiest_  demon I have  _ever_ seen.”


	4. The Demon, the Human, and the Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [thehomestuckwhovian](http://thehomestuckwhovian.tumblr.com) Prompted:  
>  Acacia coming out to her uncle.

It was easy to tell her mom. “Hey mom,  _guess what_? Yeah! I’m gay!” But her uncle?

Another story entirely.

It wasn’t that she was afraid of his reaction, per se, so much as she was afraid he would be…disappointed in her? Confused? _Irritated? …_  

Honestly, Acacia  _knew_  that her fear was irrational and so she decided to take this whole reveal to the next level. She decided to let obtuse, omniscient Uncle Dipper figure it out on his own while still dropping not so subtle hints. Make it into a game of sorts. How many times could everyone hint at Acacia’s sexuality while Uncle Dipper stopped by for dinner?

The answer: a  ** _lot_**.

When Dipper finally got the memo, he looked more embarrassed than upset. He whirled on Acacia and tossed her high into the air, eyes flaming and teeth bared. “You,” he roared, “are the most clever woman in existence save for your mother, Pole Star! No matter what happens; no matter whom you love, I will always love you and care for you. And, to be honest, I kinda figured anyways. You never did seem too interested in guys.”

She lightly punched her uncle on the arm when he caught her, then chuckled. “So when should I introduce you two?”

But that was another story entirely.


	5. Twin Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [zispot](http://zispot.tumblr.com) Prompted:  
>  See, now I wanna see more of Sandy. How about if Mabel “stumbles into” [read goes to find her brother & catches] one of their lessons?

“Pull the bow gently across the strings, like this.” A clear tone resonated in the woods, followed by a howling screech as if someone had stepped on a mandrake. “No, try again.”

Mabel had been wondering where her brother got off to at about two pm every day. He hadn’t mentioned it except to dismiss her questions under the cover of ‘it’s a summons so I have to answer’ and honestly…it was starting to captivate her. What could be so interesting that Dipper outright refused to tell her? She just had to know!

So, she had followed him into the woods just outside of Gravity Falls and-–after losing him in the underbrush for a little bit–-was now approaching where he was as quietly as possible.

The hideous screeching came again and Mabel pulled her hands over her ears and winced. What creature could make this kind of noise? And what was Dipper doing to cause it to make that noise? Poor thing… Mind made up, she leapt from her hiding spot out to ambush her brother and his secret only to come face-to-face with a small, chubby girl–-or was it a boy?-–holding a violin and looking very, very shocked.

“Yeh dinn’t tell me yeh were bein’ followed!” The child cried out, looking up at Dipper with tears in their eyes.

“Don’t worry Sandy. This is just my sister.” Dipper turned to face Mabel with a stern expression on his face. “And why were you following me?”

“Because,” she said sheepishly, backing away from her brother and his little friend slowly, “you had a secret and I was bored?”

“So you decided to follow me to who knows where, while I was doing who knows what with who knows whom? This was a good idea in your head?” Dipper’s voice was slowly raising in volume and layering itself, a phenomenon that Sandy had yet to experience. “I could have been dealing with a very powerful demon, Mabel! You could have been  _killed_!”

“Like the  _great Mizar_  can’t take care of herself!” Mabel retorted, face burning with a mixture of shame and irritation. “I am more than capable of handling myself, thank you. And meanwhile, you seem to be having fun with your lil’ buddy and your violin. You told me this was a  _summons_.”

“It technically  _is_  a summons,” Dipper retorted. “Sandy gives me candy bars in exchange for learning how to play the violin.”

“But still–-” Mabel began, but was interrupted by a loud peal of laughter. They both looked over to where Sandy was standing only to see them rolling around on the floor, clutching their stomach.

“What’s so funny?” Dipper asked.

“I…I thought yeh were kiddin’ when yeh called her yer sis but…you look just like her!” Sandy gasped between giggles, “I mean…brown hair, curls, an; everythin’!”

Dipper and Mabel stared at each other until they realized that Dipper had, during their fight, reverted to her age. When side-by-side like that, he did look like her twin. They both shared a grin and looked back at Sandy, who was sitting up and wiping away tears of unbridled glee, their T-shirt smudged with more dirt than before.

Mabel walked over to Sandy and held out her hand in greeting. “Mabel Pines. I’m Alcor’s older twin.”

“Ah’m Sandy. Mister Alcor’s learnin’ me t’ play the fiddle.” Sandy took Mabel’s hand in their own dirty one and pumped it vigorously.

“Oh he is, is he? Well maybe I should swing by from time to time with snacks because mister Alcor can forget us mortals need to eat to live and need to stay hydrated.” Dipper blushed and Mabel laughed. “Nice to meet you Sandy. i hope to hear you play again soon.”

As she walked back home, fully ready to tell Henry about Sandy, she heard the small southern child comment. “She seems nice but scarier than you, mister Alcor.”

“No kidding….” was Dippers only reply.


	6. Pay Raise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based around [this mod chat](http://transcendence-au.tumblr.com/post/102674286253/parent-teacher-conference)

_I don’t get paid enough for this,_  Mrs. Robinson rubbed her temples wearily as she sat in front of what was easily becoming the worst parent-teacher conference she had ever hosted. Now that she knew their circumstances she was a little more lax about what Acacia, Hank, and Willow did in class and wasn’t going to call DFCS on them any time soon but still.  _I really don’t get paid enough. I should ask for a pay raise._

“So she’s been acting out again?”

“Yes.” Mrs Robinson couldn’t meet his eyes-–there was something about him that still gave her the heebie-jeebies–-but she made sure to speak with a clear and affirmative tone as if he was one of her own students. “Lately she’s been using pyrokinesis to ‘accidentally’ burn her homework. I know she’s smart, she’s proven it before, but this kind of behavior sets a bad example for the other children. I’m considering moving her to a Gifted class at this point.”

“She wouldn’t like that. She enjoys sharing classes with her siblings.”

“I know, which is why I called this conference. if she doesn’t get her act together soon, she will be separated from Acacia and Hank and put in Mr. Abernathy’s Gifted class. There are wards there that will prevent her from getting into any…mischief and her needs will be seen after. Plus that would be a good way for her to interact with other people and not just her siblings. You know that most child psychologist believe that Gifted children should interact with others who understand them-–”

“ **Her siblings and her family understand her.** "His voice thundered throughout the room and set Mrs. Robinson’s teeth on edge. She had almost forgotten who she was talking to.

” _Regardless_ ,“ she took a deep breath to steel herself and continued with as much courage as she could muster, "This kind of behavior is  _not_  tolerated here and she needs to understand that. Do you think you can make her understand, because I have tried my _hardest_  and all she does is ignore me.”

“I will speak to her; however, Mrs. Robinson?” She met his eyes again and immediately broke into a cold sweat when she saw the intent in them. “It would be in your best interests to keep the triplets together. They function best as a unit and separating them would lead to more behavioral issues. **Am I making myself clear?** ”

“Crystal.”

“Alright then. I’ll be on my way. You have a nice afternoon.”

“And to you.”

Yep. She definitely needed to request a pay raise. Dealing with Alcor the Dreambender on a weekly basis was probably shortening her lifespan significantly and no one deserved that.


	7. Guilty Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [thatsthesecondtime](http://thatsthesecondtime.tumblr.com) Prompted:  
>  Oh no! Alcor playing the devil went down to Georgia is killing me.

Never let it be said that Dipper was not a multifaceted character. On the surface he appeared to be the “smart guy” but deep down he was a huge dork. When asked what his favorite band is he would always reply with “The Bad First Impressions” but deep down he loved pop groups like “BABBA” and even deeper down?

One word: country.

When Mabel first heard him practicing the song on his violin she just about busted a gut laughing so hard. “Is that why you picked up the violin?” She hooted as she rolled on the floor. Dipper’s face was flushed and he hid the violin behind him–rather pointlessly as she had already seen it.

“ _No_!” He squeaked, voice pitching and cracking as his form fluctuated to that of a pimply-faced teenager.

“But that’s priceless!” She continued through gasps of laughter. “I mean, of all the songs to play you picked that one! You could have easily gone with something from ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ but you picked  _that_!”

“Well  _pardon me_  for having complex tastes!” Dipper cried, managing to take hold of his emotions well enough to revert back to his preferred form.

“Complex is one thing but this is pure hi _lar_ ity!”

“Like you  _don’t_  have music you listen to that’s weird!”

“I don’t though!”

“Kyary Pamyu Pamyu?”

“Not weird in the  _slightest_.” Mabel wiped tears from her eyes.

Dipper just pouted. “ _Yes it is_.”

“No it’s not. But a demon playing 'the Devil Went Down to Georgia’ on a  _violin_  is pretty great.”

“ _Shut up…_ ”

“Never.”


	8. Game of Thrones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [i-clash-with-everything](http://i-clash-with-everything.tumblr.com) Prompted:  
>  Winter!

_Cold. It was so cold. Ugh…why did it have to be so cold?_

Being corporeal in the middle of an Oregon winter was not on Dipper’s list of Things That are Fun. In fact, quite the opposite. Demon or not, Oregon winters were harsh and there is nothing  _less_  fun than losing all feeling in your fingers. Thankfully, as he reminded himself every time, Mabel was master of all things winter-wear so he, the triplets, Henry, and Mable were decked head to toe in hand-knitted, fuzzy, warmth-retaining sweaters, gloves, and hats. Still…winter was one thing he did not miss upon attaining his current form.

As he bitterly complained about the cold to himself, he was pelted upside the head with a sharp-packed snowball and whipped around to glare at the culprit. When all he saw was the the fresh, unmarked snow and a large pine tree covered in powder, he turned back to watch Mabel and Henry engage in a snowman-making contest. Mabel’s snowman was almost as tall as Henry and decorated with more glitter than normal people would have been able to fit in their pockets. Henry’s was more down-to-earth, much like his personality, and very traditional. Both were superb though and Dipper envied their ability to touch snow without feeling like they had to rip their hands off afterwards.

Again, the back of his head was hit with a snowy projectile and this time he caught a glimpse of one of his niblings scrabbling back up the large pine tree to hide behind its snowy branches.

_So this is how it’s going to be, huh?_  Dipper gave a wicked grin and adjusted his form so he had large wings and two extra sets of hands--a mutation of his normally human form that he wasn’t too fond of. With a single wingbeat, he shot up to above the tree and scooped a bit of the fresh snow from its branches with all six of his hands. He formed perfect little spheres with the ice and slowly descended, looking for where his niblings were hiding on the tree.

Acacia, being the Corduroy-blooded girl she was, was the highest up and all it took was a single snowball to the center of her forehead to knock her from her place and down to a large bank of snow that cushioned her fall.

“I have felled the mighty Pole Star and thusly taken down House Pines’ first wave of attacks. How will they retaliate? Will House Alcor triumph? Only time will tell.”

“ _Avenge me_!” Acacia howled from the snowy drift she was lying in. “House Pines will not fall to your tyranny Alcor!”

Dipper chuckled and scanned the tree for Willow and Hank, searching for any sign of their being. He saw a small flicker of purple towards the back of the tree and quickly tesseracted over to it. He heard giggling and pelted the spot wit a few of the frozen spheres in his hands. There was a quick yelp and Willow was dislodged from her perch. Dipper scooped her up before she hit the ground and grinned wickedly.

“Do you concede Little Fighter?”

“Never!” She giggled as he mercilessly tickled her until she cried. When she finally could breathe--he was mindful of her asthma--she nodded her head and he let her down.

“Another victory for House Alcor!” Willow sat next Acacia--who was pouting about being out of the game--and watched as Dipper went on to torment Hank with swirling storms of snow and ice that assaulted his head. The Pines boy shrieked and laughed as his uncle swept him up and dangled him over an animated snowman who clawed at the air where Hank hung. Eventually Hank gave in and grumbled about cheating when his uncle put him down next to his siblings.

“ _VICTORY FOR HOUSE ALCOR_!” Dipper crowed, having long since forgotten his frozen fingers and hatred for cold. He did a celebratory dance--just as dorky now as it was when he was a kid. He was still gloating when he was knocked upside the head with a barrage of snowballs so expertly crafted that even a Yeti would be proud. Knocked flat on his butt, Dipper looked up to see Mabel and Henry looking pleased as punch with a pile of snowballs beside them.

“Nah…I think it’s more of a victory for House Mizar, don’t you?” She turned to Henry and planted a big smooch on his cheek. Their kids grimaces, as did Dipper, and she laughed. “Now who wants some hot choclety milk?” Everyone leapt up and dashed inside, ready for fun times, their feud easily forgotten.


	9. Alcor el Rey del Sueño

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4392203/chapters/10598424).

One day after their practice sessions, Dipper decided to follow Sandy home. Of course, he asked first--partially because trying to follow someone who had the Sight without being seen is hard and partially because he respected Sandy’s privacy--but he _was_ concerned for the child. This was the second lesson they had been late to and the third time they had shown up with bandages all over their face. Dipper was concerned, so he did what he thought was best--seeing as no one but his family and Sandy could really see him--he would investigate.

Turns out that what he thought was bad, was in fact _much_ worse.

Sandy wasn’t just some random kid wandering the woods. Sandy was part of a freakshow-slash-circus act from Griffin, Georgia called the Transcendence Trio. The act was composed of them--Sandy the Seer--a teenage Wordsmith--Oscar Wilde--and a part-naga contortionist--The Marvelous Marta--and they lived in the most run down trailer Dipper had ever seen. When Dipper and Sandy arrived at the trailer, Oscar looked up at Sandy and sneered.

“Where’ve ya been cuntboy?”

“Ah was bein’ learnt t'play th’ fiddle.” Sandy replied, used to the verbal abuse by now. They found a small, dingy corner with a tatty old beanbag chair in it and curled up, tucking their stubby knees to their chest and sighing softly.

“Yeah right. Ye’ve learnt t’ play fiddle and I’m being learnin’ t’ braid Marta’s freakish hair.” Oscar snapped, standing up from his spot on the floor and walking over to Marta. He grabbed a fistful of her kinky hair and tugged hard on it. The young afro-latina shrieked and pulled away, hissing under her breath in Spanish.

“Well it’s true!” Sandy argued, “An’ yeh shouldn’t be so mean t’ Marta. It’s her act that brings most a’ th’ customers anyway.”

Oscar’s energy boiled red and black with hints of murderous steel gray. He took a few steps over to Sandy and seized their collar, hoisting them up and staring them directly in the eyes. Sandy flinched, pulling away in his hands.

“Now ye  _listen_  t’ me you little  _shitstain_.  _Who_  found ye in the damn dump, wearin some  _shitty_ little fuckin  _trashbag_  that barely covered up yer fuckin dick  _and_  cunt?  _Who_  took ye in an gave ye a place t’ live an’ work? An’  _who_  puts up with your  _shitty_  little attitude so that we can make enough money to  _eat_?  _Who is it?!_ ” He screamed in Sandy’s face.

Tears were streaming from their eyes and they sobbed out as Oscar shook them wildly. “Yeh! It’s yeh!”

“An’ who hosts that  _fuckin_  nigger ye found?  _Who_  keeps her slutty ass in line?”

Dipper was seeing red. He shuddered at the effort of not becoming corporeal and eating that fucking asshole.

“Yeh!” Sandy wailed. Oscar, satisfied in his scare tactics, dropped them on the ground and spat on them.

“Ye’d better fuckin remember it too. I bring in th’ money cause I manage and own yer asses. Don’t ferget I can fuckin sell you if I please.” Oscar sneered. “Now, since the fucking local hicks don’t wanna pay for our day show, they’ll pay for your freakish fucking an’ the nigger’s sweet ass. Any woman who can eat herself out is a gift. I’ll be back in a few hours. Get cleaned up fer th’ customers, understand? They pay big money to fuck a herm.” Oscar stormed out of the trailer and soon the sound of his footsteps receded. Sandy, sniffling, picked themselves up and rubbed dirt out of a cut on their face.

“You shouldn’t let him do that to you,” Dipper growled. Sandy refused to meet his eyes. “That’s a shit thing to do and no one should be treated that way.”

“He’s right though. He gave me a home when  I had nuthin an’ I owe him everythin’ I just wish he wouldn’t hit Marta so much.” Sandy staggered over to the single sink and ran water over their hands, splashing it on their face and washing away some of the dirt and blood.

“ _¿Hablando sola otra vez?_ ” Marta asked, a shy smile working its way across her wide mouth. She shifted how she was sitting so that her feet were behind her neck and her arms jointed backwards. Dipper fought back a wave of nausea.

Sandy looked over at her, then Dipper, then back to her. “Uh…no.  _Hablo una…un demon…io. Te llamo Alcor_.”

She looked shocked, untangling her limbs and slowly pulling herself over to where Sandy stood, just below where Dipper was floating. “ _¿Alcor famoso? _¿E_ _se Alcor? _¿Alcor el Rey del Sueño?!___ ”

Sandy looked shocked. “ _¿Alcor es famos...o? _ _ _¿P-por qué?_ ”___

_“Alcor se conoce por ayudar a niños y favorecer el débil sobre el potente. ¡Si se dirige a Alcor el Rey del Sueño entonces tal vez nos puede_   _ayudar!_ ” She looked excited now and Dipper could read bubbles of murderous maroon and bright cyan hope in her energy. Marta wanted a better future and was willing to kill her oppressor to achieve it. And honestly, Dipper couldn’t fault her for it. Oscar was a grade-A dick.

“ _¿Cómo?_ ” If what Dipper was reading in Sandy’s energy was correct, the reason they took time to learn and speak Spanish (if not imperfect Spanish) was to make communication between the two of them easier. Marta understood a good bit of English but couldn’t really speak it where Sandy picked up Spanish quickly.

“ _Pregunte a Alcor si-–no–-e_ _stablezca un contrato con Alcor._ _Ofrézcale cualquier cosa. Lo que quiere. Puede tenerlo._ ” Marta was busy talking with her hands as well. She gestured wildly around, at the space Alcor was supposed to be and then at everything in the room. Dipper read both their energies closely and was pleased at the level of malice or murder in them--not to say that there wasn’t any, just minimal amounts.

“Oh...okay…um…” Sandy turned back to Dipper and looked him in the eyes. They opened their mouth and dipper cut in before they said anything.

“Murder is a serious business.”

“I wasn’t gonna ask fer murder. I just want Marta an’ me t’ be free. I wanna get away from Oscar. What could I trade fer that?”

Dipper pondered how to handle this kind of open-ended desire. Not murder, but freedom. After a few more minutes of pondering, he came up with a solution. “I’ll give you your freedom from Oscar and in exchange you give me your firstborn.”

“Huh?” Sandy looked confused.

“In exchange for your freedom I get your firstborn child. Not Marta’s, yours. You’ll still be able to learn how to play the violin so long as you bring me candy and you can stay here as long as you need to but you won’t have to worry about Oscar any more.”

Sandy barely took time to consider it. “Deal.” And with a handshake it was done. Marta looked up at him from her prone position on the floor.

“ _¿Qué pasó? ¿Qué renunció?_ ”

“ _Renunció mi...niño primero._ ” Marta’s brows furrowed and she stared at Sandy.

“ _Pero…no puede tener niños…_ ”

“ _Yo sé. Pero Alcor pide por mi _niño primero a cambio de nuestra libertad._ ” _Sandy looked Dipper in the eyes and smiled again, full of teeth and joy.  _“Todavía podemos quedarnos aquí, pero va a tomar_  Oscar.”

Marta squealed with joy and flailed her arms about. She looked where she assumed Dipper to be and smiled widely. “ _Gracias Alcor. Mucho gracias!_ ”

Dipper, with just enough energy put behind it so she could hear him, replied, “ _ **De nada, Marta. Tiene me benedición. Disfrute de su libertad."**  
_

Dipper tipped his hat to Sandy and tesseracted to where Oscar was. With a grim sigh, he reached deep into Oscar’s chest and crushed his heart. “Sick fuck,” he whispered to the immobile corpse. “You should treat people better in your next life.”


	10. How Much It Means to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> If you're still taking fic requests: Henry/dipper/ bro tiems? (+20 if Stan is there too!)

Henry and Dipper got along well enough. It’s not as if his first couple of demonic freak-outs had scarred the boy. It’s not as if he had traumatized him the first time they met. It’s not like Henry was marrying Mabel.

“Play nice,” she said before Wendy, Candy, Grenda, and Pacifica dragged her off to do who knows what for a girl’s-night-out.

Dipper waved and Henry nodded. Thankfully for the lot of them, Mabel had sacrificed a Costco-sized box of Swedish Fish to the nerd in exchange for him spending the night with Henry. 

“Smooth things over,” she had commanded. “And if you two aren’t the best of buddies by the end of the night I am going to formally revoke your sweater privileges!”

Dipper would comply—and not just because he was going to eat himself into a stupor of Swedish Fish—because he loves his sister and he wants her to be happy. Hopefully Henry would feel the same way.

(Spoiler: he did)

* * *

 

Now what Henry thought was a good time was not quite what Dipper thought was a good time so, for a while, they had some awkward back and forth until Grunkle Stan—“getting on in the years but not so old as to not know a bunch of droll jerks”—shooed them from the living room and they went up to the attic.

Dipper gazed at the pictures and posters lining the wall. Damn it was getting old…some of her favorite posters—specifically the Sev’ral Times one with Chubby Z covered in lipgloss kisses—looking particularly worn. He chuckled and traced a finger over a gash in the wood of the wall. “I remember that happening.”

“Oh?” Henry raised an eyebrow.

“Mabel and I were playing home-made mini-golf and she took a swing at hole four” Dipper pointed at the far corner of the room. “It was a glass cup. She was a little too jazzed up on Mabel Juice and swung too hard from a couple of inches away. Shattered the glass into several large shards and sent them ricocheting across the room. Cut that into the wall and sliced up Mabel’s hand. If you look close enough you can see a small scar in between her thumb and first finger on her right hand.”

“Reminds me of our second date. We went to the Movieplex and she decided it was a good idea to sneak into the back area and make her own popcorn. I tripped over the bar trying to get away from the usher and fractured my knee.”

“Reminds me of the time that Mabel and I—back when I was human—were running from Lil’ Gideon in a huge robotic duplicate of himself. Mabel had gotten caught and so I was freaking out. I decided to jump off of a cliff and punch my way into the robot via it’s eye-hole-window-thing. Beat the ever-loving shit out of Gideon though. Left a mess of scratches on my arm and fist and, while you can’t see them now, I had a web of scars on my arms. This, of course, was pre-transcendence.”

Henry gaped, “You were doing this kind of thing before the transcendence?”

“Yeah,” Dipper blushed a bit. “Gravity Falls was always a hub for supernatural activity so everything you see now was commonplace here; though thanks to the Society of the Blind Eye no one really remembered.”

“Man, I wish my life was as exciting.”

“No you don’t,” Dipper said solemnly. “I had days where I wouldn’t sleep—or rather, couldn’t sleep—and sometimes even Mabel couldn’t shake off the horrors of the day. She’s a bit more well-adjusted now though.”

“‘Well-adjusted’ is not a term I would use to describe Mabel.” Henry chuckled. “Remember when she drank a pitcher of Mabel Juice, followed it up with a jumbo Pixie Stix and then tried to actually fly? Thank goodness you caught her or she would have actually injured herself!”

“She is a handful, I’ll give you that.” There was a bit of silence as Dipper looked around at their childhood room. “You know…I don’t think I’ve ever really told you how much it means to me that you took after her like you did. And that you accepted me. That was always an issue with Mabel’s other post-transcendence crushes. They always drew the line at 'Here’s my brother Dipper. He’s a powerful demon and you can’t see him but I can. I hope you don’t mind but we’re a package deal!’”

“Yeah well when you love someone, you accept them for who they are, weird demon brother and everything.” Henry looked rather embarrassed and it made Dipper laugh again. “But to be honest, I’ve seen worse brothers.”

“Thanks for that.” Dipper groaned and Henry laughed again. "Hey, you wanna go play poker with Stan? The old codger cheats like nobody’s business but it’s pretty fun. Plus we can always play strip poker. And I think he’s got a few drinks we can have as well. May as well have fun while the girls are out!“ Dipper smiled at Henry and Henry shrugged.

"Why the hell not? Sounds fun.” And the two of them headed downstairs.

When Mabel got back home, she found her brother, her fiance, and her great uncle passed out, surrounded by beer bottles, and mostly nude with playing cards stuck all over their face. Henry had his arm around Dipper, who was still corporeal, and Stan was slobbering all over the five aces he had in his hand, his teeth on the floor a foot away. She smiled and ruffled her fiance’s and her brother’s hair gently.

“Goobers…thanks for getting along…”


	11. Cards Against Transcendence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [genderfluidperidots](http://genderfluidperidots.tumblr.com/) Prompted:  
>  Board games? c:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cheated a little with this one. Not _quite_ a board game.

_Whoever decided that Cards Against Humanity while drunk was a good idea should be shot out of a cannon,_  Dipper decided,  _and into a big pool of liquor because it is awesome!_

“Okay…okay…so I’m the Card Czar?” Candy asked. Her glasses were slightly fogged up and askew on her snub nose but she seemed to have the most clarity out of everyone there. Wendy was intensely focused on Grenda, who was flexing her rock hard guns to the tune of ‘Taking Over Midnight’. Soos was lazing with a lite beer in his hand and fifteen cookies shoved in his mouth. Stan was passed out and Henry was blinking owlishly at his hand of cards. Mabel was singing at the top of her lungs and Dipper? Dipper was floating upside-down, butt planted firmly on the ceiling.

“Yeah!” Grenda cried, pulling her shirt off and flexing her shoulders and abs.

“Uhh…okay…the-the card is ‘Why am I all sticky?’” Mabel giggled loudly and blew a large spew of her favorite homemade cocktail—Smile Dip: cotton candy vodka, spiced rum, grenadine, and TAB—all over her cards.

Wendy let out a loud protest, “Please don’t ruin my cards. I just got the Transcendence upgrade pack an those were hard to find!”

“Sorry!”

“Why am I all sticky?  _Why_  am I all sticky? Why  _am_  I all sticky?” Henry muttered to himself, staring at his cards even more intently than before. Soos threw his card down quickly, grabbing one from the nearest pile and settling back to munch on his cookies. Dipper picked his, chuckling as he used telekinesis to drop it off at Candy’s feet.

Wendy turned in her card. “I’ve got this in the bag!”

Grenda shook her head and muttered, “Throwaway…”

Henry deposited his card at Candy’s feet and then drew. When he saw his card he just howled. “Staircase card!”

A chorus of “damn”s and “oh man share”s followed so he showed off a white card that said “golden showers”.

"That would have been good,” Mabel agreed.

“Read the cards!” Grenda pressed.

“Did everyone turn their cards in?” Candy counted the white cards in the pile in front of her and then nodded. “Yeah…yeah we’re good…” She shuffled the cards and then pulled one up. “Why am I all sticky? Third-world countries.” Nobody laughed except Mabel who squealed and kicked her feet. “Why m’I all sticky? Pac-man uncontrollably guzzling cum.”

“OH MY GOD EW!”

“Gross!”

“Who’s card was that?!”

“Not mine!”

Soos just blushed and went back to munching on his cookies.

“Why am I all sticky? Pixilated bukake.” Another round of groans. “Why am I all sticky? Science.” No response. “Why am I all sticky? Bill Cipher’s triangular cock? Who wrote this one? Issa…issa blank that’s been written on with a…,” Candy squinted at the card, “glittery pink gel pen?” Everyone looked at Mabel, who giggled and rolled on the floor.

“I made that card like a few month’s ago!” She howled with laughter while most of the room just grabbed their heads and plugged their ears. “I thought it was funny.”

“It’s about as funny as your last attempt to knit drunk.” Dipper remarked.

“Hey! I’m sha-she-sure that there’s a unnrpriv…an orphan who loves their new sweater!” She protested.

“Yeah. If that orphan has three arms and no head.” Everyone cackled and Stan grunted in his sleep, rolling over in place.

“Let’s just get on with it!” Grenda urged and Candy looked back down at the remaining two cards.

“Why am I all sticky? A…” She stopped and puffed up in an attempt not to laugh. “I don’ think I c’n read this one…”

Dipper drew the card from her hand, “Here. I’ll do it.” When he finally got a chance to read it, he turned a brilliant scarlet and tossed the card down. “I am  _not_  reading that one!”

“How bad can it be?” Mabel leaned over, picked up the card, and screamed. “Oh  _my god!_ This is hilarious! Okay…okay…” She cleared her throat and read, “Alcor the Dreambender’s  _hot demon cum!!!_ ” Everyone lost their shit.  _Everyone_. Dipper covered his ears and screwed his eyes shut and pretended to not hear the laughter at his expense while everyone else fucking  _died_.

"Oh my god I told you I had that one in the bag!” Wendy crowed. Candy just hiccupped-giggled until she couldn’t breathe and then picked up the last card.

She glanced it over, threw it in the air, and said, “ _Fuck it_. Wendy wins. I quit.” Everyone else groaned as Wendy forked over her eighth and final black card.

“Take  _that_  suckers! I win  _again! AHAHAHAHA!_ ” Wendy laughed until she puked, after which everyone just kinda tottered around looking for Stan’s Wet-Vac so that they could at least get the vomit off of the walls. And despite the raging hangovers that would plague everyone but Dipper tomorrow, they all agreed on one thing.

Wendy kicked  _everyone’s_  ass at Cards Against Humanity.


	12. "Binding" by Desiree Fukimi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [callmegallifreya](http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/) Prompted:  
>  An excerpt from one of the of the other trashy romance novels about Alcor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft-core porn warning. In case the "trashy Alcor romance novel" part didn't key you in.

…Clarissa leaned in closer to Alcor, straddling that thin line between the summoning circle and her safety. She couldn’t help it though; he was so…inviting. Never before had she seen a demon of his caliber and yet--she felt as if she never would again. She had this deep longing in her bosom that she didn’t understand. Why? Why did this beautiful sculpted demon drag up such feelings in her? What power did he hold over her? Did she want him to stop?

“You tread dangerously child.” Alcor rumbled, his voice a deep baritone that caused vibrations deep down _there_  and made her weak-legged.

“And _how_ ,” Clarissa purred, “am I treading so dangerously?”

“I am married and have a child.” He intoned stoically. His face was impassive stone, unreadable and yet…was that a glimmer of remorse?

“Oh…,” She drew away, tears welling in her eyes. Oh, that forbidden fruit! Oh, how she could not taste of his sweet nectar! Oh, woe was her!

“Why have you summoned me?” Alcor asked again. This time it seemed as if he was demanding an answer instead of it just being formality.

“I simply…wished to see you again, Dreambender.” Clarissa fought to hold back the tears. She could not,  _would not_  cry in front of the demon she had so easily bonded with! It was Fate! He had to be her life-partner or she would die! But he was married…

“Your energy…” Alcor murmured, sending more thrums of pleasure through Clarissa’s very being. “It is dimmer than before. You are dying?”

“Yes…I am dying.”

“Is that why you summoned me? You are dying and wished to see me?”

“More than wished.” Needed. Desired. _Longed_. Her body cried out for his touch.

Alcor hummed as he thought, tapping his chin with a large, sharp claw. “You know…I could bind you to me. It would significantly increase your lifespan and you would belong to me and me alone.”

“But your wife! Your child!” Clarissa protested.

“Meaningless before the life of one such as yourself…”

She gazed into his golden eyes and was lost there, in the realm of dreams with her beloved. She would never have to worry about dying young again! She could live as long as he wished her too! And he would be hers and she would be his. For as long as she lived.

“I accept.” She sighed and the deal was struck. The summoning circle broke open and Alcor surged forward, his hand reaching for her most intimate spots. He stroked  _there_  and she shuddered, holding back a cry. “Alcor,” she whimpered, “I need you. I need you in me!”… 


	13. Annual Demon*Con

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> What if there were demon meetings like in the fic ibelieveinahappilyeverafter is writing? Where a bunch of demons show up/are kinda summoned there once a year and kinda catch up on the news or whatever?

“Who invited him?”

“Seriously, he’s so creepy!”

“Why does he even come to this thing? He never gets purposefully summoned anyway!”

Brian the Organ Duck was currently waddling his way into the Bicentennial Demonic Congressional Meeting and ignoring every mean comment being directed at him. Sure, he knew that he wasn’t the most attractive demon, nor was he the most intimidating, but he had feelings dammit! He just trudged forward, hoping at least one other demon would show up and gossip with him. That was what the whole damn thing was about, though, wasn’t it? Catching up on the most recent news.

Through almost non-existent auditory receptors, Brian heard a Malachor and a Legion whispering about the most recent up-cropping of cults and how irritating it was to have to answer all those summons 24/7 and how much easier it was to be summoned before the Transcendence, when they could just appear invisible and wreak havoc instead of actually having to think about fucking over their summoner.

_Pissbabies…at least you get summons…,_ Brian bitterly thought, waddling past a few more demons to the snack bar. A wide array of meats lined the table, all dripping with blood or oozing with pus. Some even were filled with shit or bile. All were grade-A human meat. _Someone must have saved a few sacrifices…or the damn Cult of Alcor is acting up again. He never wants to eat his sacrifices…_

Speaking of: the Dreambender-in-question was currently leaning up against a wall, a glass of blood in his hands--O positive if Brian was reading that right--and looking incredibly uncomfortable. Brian smiled,  _may as well make it worse._

“ **Hail Dreambender**.”

Alcor looked up at him and his nose immediately wrinkled, “Hail Organ Duck.”

“ **How fares it?** ”

“Well enough.” He seemed to be holding back bile, much as the rest of the demons nearby were. Brian’s stench and gurgling noises were enough to make anyone lose their appetite. “You?”

Most demons rarely acknowledged that he could talk. Alcor’s awkwardness was to be expected, and was even reveled by Brian. There was something about this particular demon’s emotions that tasted so nice. “ **The usual. Accidental summons. Made a few deals. Got fed**.”

“Oh?” Confusion and revulsion rolled off him in droves.

“ **Some family named Ramirez called me up and asked for chicken liver. Since then I’ve been summoned every few weeks or so to bring them fresh meat. It seems like every Ramirez in the state of Oregon knows how to summon me and what to ask for as well as what to offer.** ” Brian pulsed rapidly, his way of fluttering wings he didn’t have. “ **And then there was this kid who had cancer in his eye. That was pretty tasty.** ”

Brian felt a tentative probing of his aura and internally smiled. Alcor had always been a loner and never really liked the other demons so he expected some worry but this? This was priceless.

“You gave him an eye of gold and the Sight.” Alcor breathed.

“ **Equivalent exchange**.” Brian pulsed again, spattering Alcor with fluids. He winced but looked much less disgusted than before. Before Brian could say another word, however, a gold slug slowly crawled up Brian’s leg and onto his left ventricle.

“Ｈ　Ａ　Ｉ　Ｌ　　　Ｂ　Ｒ　Ｉ　Ａ　Ｎ．　．　．” The slug burbled, each word sounding like a recording of someone talking through jello and slowed it down 200%.

Brian bobbed his head, greeting the slug. “ **Hail Dave. How are you?** ”

“Ｗ　Ｅ　Ｌ　Ｌ　　　Ｅ　Ｎ　Ｏ　Ｕ　Ｇ　Ｈ．　．　．Ｓ　Ｕ　Ｍ　Ｍ　Ｏ　Ｎ　Ｓ　　　Ｈ　Ａ　Ｖ　Ｅ　　　Ｂ　Ｅ　Ｅ　Ｎ　　　Ｓ　Ｌ　Ｏ　Ｗ．　．　．　Ｎ　Ｏ　　　Ｏ　Ｎ　Ｅ　　　Ｓ　Ｅ　Ｅ　Ｍ　Ｓ　　　Ｔ　Ｏ　　　Ｈ　Ａ　Ｖ　Ｅ　　　Ｍ　Ｕ　Ｃ　Ｈ　　　Ｔ　Ｉ　Ｍ　Ｅ　　　Ｆ　Ｏ　Ｒ　　　Ｐ　Ａ　Ｔ　Ｉ　Ｅ　Ｎ　Ｃ　Ｅ　　　Ｔ　Ｈ　Ｅ　Ｓ　Ｅ　　　Ｄ　Ａ　Ｙ　Ｓ．　．　．　Ａ　Ｌ　Ｗ　Ａ　Ｙ　Ｓ　　　Ｉ　Ｎ　　　Ａ　　　Ｒ　Ｕ　Ｓ　Ｈ　　　Ｔ　Ｈ　Ｅ　Ｓ　Ｅ　　　Ｈ　Ｕ　Ｍ　Ａ　Ｎ　Ｓ．　．　．” Dave blubbed, either ignoring or impervious to Alcor’s staring. His eyestalks swiveled over to look at Alcor, finally recognizing his presence. “Ａ　Ｈ．　．　．　Ｓ　Ｏ　Ｒ　Ｒ　Ｙ　　　Ａ　Ｂ　Ｏ　Ｕ　Ｔ　　Ｔ　Ｈ　Ａ　Ｔ．　．　．　Ｈ　Ａ　Ｉ　Ｌ　　　Ｄ　Ｒ　Ｅ　Ａ　Ｍ　Ｂ　Ｅ　Ｎ　Ｄ　Ｅ　Ｒ　．　．　．　”

"H-hail O Patient One…” Alcor swallowed heavily and took a nervous sip of his blood, then spit it back out as he seemed to realize what he was drinking. “Uhm…While I appreciate the company…I’m being summoned right now so…I…ah…have to go…” With a small burst of flames, the Dreambender tesseracted away from the meeting and the strange pair of Dave the Patient One and Brian the Organ Duck.

In the back, Brian heard someone whisper, “ _I didn’t know the Organ Duck had a name…or a friend.._.”

“ _Neither did I,_ ” was the hushed reply, “ _You learn something new every century…_ ”


	14. Demonic Assistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by [this post](http://writeworld.org/post/102716971807/writers-block-a-picture-says-a-thousand-words).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: attempted suicide, mentions of suicide, mentions of assisted suicide

Her hands shook as she tipped the bottle. One, two, three small ones, a big one, that clear one with gel in it, the spotted one, and the horse pill. That was just in the mornings. Afternoons were tablets that had to be chewed, sugar-coated pills that melted too quick, and herbal supplements that tasted like  _shit_. Nights meant the suppository, the injection, and that  _fucking_  capsule that was easier to take the dust than the actual pill. Medicine bottles lined her bathroom counter, medicine bottles littered her floors, medicine bottles were all over her kitchen. She  _hated_  it.

Her hands shook as she poured brandy into a highball glass and threw her head back, downing the whole thing in one go.  _Shit_ , she winced as her acid reflux kicked in and she felt the souring in her throat,  _like I need any more issues. Not like it matters…_

She looked down at the circle she had drawn on her floor, double-checking the runes to make sure they were flawless. They were–at least to her knowledge–and she turned her attention back to the webpage she was reading.

> _Demon-assisted Suicide (A Magi-How Article)_
> 
> _Are you tired of this world? Tired of the constant expectations that society forces upon you? Tired of living? Then we have a way to solve that. Ever since the Transcendence occurred, the supernatural has provided an option not previously available: assisted suicide without repercussions. If one was to get assisted suicide before, the assistant would be jailed. However! With the addition of those who are not bound by this realm’s laws, we now have a way out! The steps are simple:_
> 
>   1. _Draw a summoning circle with whatever utensils you have at hand._
>   2. _Fill it with the signs and sigils required for the demon you wish to assist you–many recommend Aneus the Devourer but I personally like Pestilence as if you are suffering from any sort of chronic illness, the Devourer may not fulfill your wishes and instead simply digest you slowly over the centuries._
>   3. _Chant the summons required for your desired demon. Make sure you are using Ecclesiastical Latin, NOT Modern Latin (if your summons is in Latin)_
>   4. _When asked why you have summoned the demon, reply–and this part is crucial: it must be worded as is or the demon will find a loophole in your wording and will possibly possess your body and wreak havoc on our realm and then leave you to the consequences–“I have summoned you because I am suffering. Life is a burden that I can no longer bear. I offer my humble mortal self to you, O (insert demon’s full name and titles) so that you may relinquish my spirit to the (whatever shit-ass afterlife you believe in). I give you my deceased body in compensation.”_
>   5. _Die a good death and be eaten. :)_
> 

> 
> _This post brought to you by Maddy M., certified paranormalist. Graduated from SGU with a major in demonology and a minor in Wordsmithing._

She looked back at the circle and sighed. “Better late than never…”

“ _Conjuro te veterem vetus monstrum, cum introducet te in omni potentia tua, et mortale hoc regnum sceintiam! Venite ad me, Brian!!!_ ” She slit her hand, right across the palm, and bled into the center of the circle. There was a sharp blast of wind, putting out all the candles in her room, and the smell of rotting meat wafted to her nostrils. As her eyes tried to focus on the summoning circle, she heard a steady squishing-pulsating noise and the drip of unknown fluids hitting the floor. She wondered if it was too late to back down.

When her eyes finally got used to the lack of light, she was greeted with the horrid sight of what looked like a duck made out of a heart and other visceral things. It pulsated and spewed blood and goop all over the floor where it stood, but thankfully none of it exited the circle. With a sharp cough, she regained her composure and stared the…organ…duck…demon straight in the eye.

“I have summoned you because I am suffering. Life is a burden that I can no longer bear. I offer my humble mortal self to you, O…O…” here she faltered. What was the name of the demon she summoned? It sure didn’t look like Briach the Visceral, Embalmer of Corpses and Leader of the Mindless Dead. “O Organ Duck, so that you may relinquish my spirit to the– _fuck it_. This is  _stupid_ … why do I even care?” She threw her hands in the air and slumped against the wall, arms crossed.

“YOU SEEM TROUBLED, MORTAL…” A strange sound, much like if someone was speaking under a clip of an echo-y duck quacking issued from the general region of the duck, though it didn’t appear to move its beak.

“Yeah? What gave it away?” She probably shouldn’t be snarking a demon right now but, dammit, she was suicidal anyways so why the fuck not?

“YOU REEK OF INDECISION AND FEAR. ALSO DEATH…WHAT TROUBLES YOU? WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME?”

She weighed the options in her mind: either talk to the duck demon and die, or don’t talk to the duck demon and die. Either way, death was inevitable.

“I’m sick as shit and I want to die,” she began. “I’m on more pills than I can afford and should be taking more but I can’t pay for them. I’m behind on rent and behind on bills and if the cold doesn’t kill me when they kick me out, my diabetes will. I’m allergic to so many foods that I can’t eat much more than tofu and air and I tried to summon a demon to assist with my suicide so I could just fucking  _die_  already and all I got was a  _damn duck made out of organs!_ ” She growled in frustration and threw her head against the wall as hard as possible, causing stars to dance in her vision for a bit. When they cleared, she remembered her manners and apologized, “No offense, of course.”

The duck was silent, slowly pulsating and oozing and, had her the smell of rotting flesh not become commonplace, she might have been grossed out by it more than she was. As it was, she just sat there and took it like it was some kind of punishment.

“YOU WISH TO DIE?”

“Yes.”

“WHAT ABOUT THE PAIN? DO YOU WISH FOR IT TO STOP?”

“More than anything.”

“AND YOU WISH TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY PROVIDE FOR YOURSELF?”

She wasn’t sure what it was getting at now. “Yes?”

“WHAT WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO GIVE IN EXCHANGE FOR SUCH A FEAT?” The duck cocked its head so that it was looking directly into her eyes. She shuddered at the cold, soulless feeling she got from it’s eyes.

“Anything at all.” Rules be damned; world be damned! She was a selfish person and was going to fucking get what she wanted or take the whole of Los Angeles with her!

“THEN DO WE HAVE A DEAL?”

_Deal, what deal?_  She pondered for only a few seconds before she decided.  _Fuck it._

“Yes.” She stuck out her hand but the duck made no move to meet her. Instead the weird pulsating grew louder and louder until it was as if their hearts were beating in unison. Blood and goo poured from the summoning circle and enveloped her as the duck slowly drifted to where she stood. It opened its maw wide and–

She awoke, with a gasp, and checked the time on her clock.  _1:58 am…fuck…what a nightmare. Can’t even go through with it in my dreams._

She slipped out of bed to take her sleeping pills when she noticed something. She didn’t hurt! Not one inch of her ached, nor did it burn when she inhaled. Her back was straight and her fingers worked fine and standing didn’t kill her feet like it used to!

As quickly as she could muster–running for the first time in years–she dashed to the bathroom to take her blood sugar. There was no way that demon had done this. Most demons would have fucked her over and that would have been that!

“ _Holy shit_ …”

She flew to the computer as fast as she could manage and pulled up Magipedia, fingers flying across the keys as she typed in ‘Organ Duck.’ One result was brought up.

> _Demon – Organ Duck_
> 
> _The Organ Duck is one of the lesser-known demons and might possibly be one of the lowest-class demons available. Not much is known about it, seeing as it does not seem to have any sort of lore telling its tale, but it does appear frequently when a summoner messes up a circle or incantation when summoning a demon. Usually the summoner dismisses the Organ Duck before too long as keeping an unknown demon in a circle not intended for them can result in disaster, but one summoner–who did keep the Organ Duck contained inside a circle for ten minutes–claims that it pulsates and oozes and makes no move to speak with the summoner. Seems harmless enough but you never know with this sort of thing._
> 
> Comments:
> 
> d00d5:  _Doods, I summoned this guy once. He is mega rad! Doesn’t ask for much and deals in organs. Pretty cool doods!_
> 
> SeyeT:  _I know he may look gross but the Organ Duck seems to be along the veins of Alcor in terms of his treatment of humans. I summoned it and accidentally promised it anything and all it did was take my eye--which had cancer and I had intended to give up anyways. All-in-all, Organ Duck is really great for those suffering from chronic or terminal diseases. Still, be careful though since I’m not sure if he’s like that all the time._
> 
> MizartheGreat:  _Seen this guy. Don’t personally care for him, but seems nice enough. I’d say this is an A-OK demon to summon if you’re trying to get rid of an infection or something, since he deals with organs and viscera. 6/10_

With a soft smile, she looked over at all the medication she probably no longer needed to take. Then she opened up a comment box and typed one word and one word only:

_Thanks._


	15. "Softly He Carried Me Home" by Serena Childs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [callmegallifreya](http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com) Prompted:  
>  Mwahahah I regret nothing! Now do one where Alcor is Just Misunderstood And Needs Love! (and isn't married to Mizar because that would be Bad and he's Not Evil Just Misunderstood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Vaguely sexual in nature. It's another "trashy romance novel" prompt.

…The woman looked up at the demon above him, watching as all the fire and darkness radiating off him disappeared. She stared deeply into his eyes as they went from the golden color she was used to to a soft amber. “You don’t understand. No one does…”

“I don’t understand what?” She clung to his chest, bosom heaving as she thought of his fierce face and fiercer teeth.

“It’s…,” Alcor broke contact, pulling away from her embrace and flying to the far end of the chapel.

She simply watched him, eyes scanning his lean, chiseled form for any sign of why he was so upset. He was a demon! A demon that hid out in a church? But he killed people! And yet he saved her…

“You…,” she whispered. “You’re not evil.”

“What makes you believe that?” He hissed, wings curling around him as if he were shielding himself from the world. “I’ve killed hundreds of your kind. I’ve drunk the blood of the innocent. I’d feasted on more souls than you will ever know! What makes you think I’m not evil?”

“You didn’t kill _me_.”

Her words hit home, causing the great demon to unfurl his wings and look back at her, a spark of hope there, glimmering in his eyes. His brow was furrowed and his luscious lips were parted slightly as if he had a question for her but she couldn’t hold back any longer. She dashed across the room and rammed her lips to his, forcing her tongue into his mouth. He was receptive to her probing and his long, serpentine tongue wrapped around hers as they battled for dominance. They swapped spit for some time before she noticed his excitement, and her own. “It’s been a while since you’ve been properly loved, hasn’t it?”

His gaze never left her’s as he magicked away her clothes and his own, leaving her to admire his well-defined body. Oh that she would taste that body! And, she was pleased to see, that down there he did not differ from humans too much. Granted, he was impressively hung, but it was vaguely human in nature…


	16. Babysitting with the Grunkle and the Uncle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> If you aren't AU'd out yet, Dipper and Stan babysitting the triplets while Henry and Mabel are gone for the weekend.

Dipper regretted ever accepting this job. Stan wasn’t making it any easier. Sure, the triplets were hard enough to handle on a normal day, when their parents were there, but now that Mabel and Henry were gone?  _Total hell._

Acacia was hopped up on Smile Dip—he blamed Stan for that one—and was currently climbing all over the rafters. Willow was happily setting paper on fire and ‘accidentally’ some furniture too. Hank was quietly reading in the corner but he was doing absolutely nothing to stop his siblings from tiring out their uncle. Dipper was just about ready to tear his hair out. Sure it was fun to make mischief with the triplets but having to be the person to clean up the mess and manage the damage sucked.

“ _Stan_! Do you think you can stop Willow from setting the couch on fire? I am  _not_  going to magically replace it like last time!” Dipper shouted as he tried to wrangle a wriggling Acacia without knocking her from her precarious post above the knife rack.

Stan looked up from the latest issue of 'Gold Chains for Old Men’ and leapt to his feet as fast as his elderly, arthritic body would allow. “Willow, sweetie, don’t do that to the furniture! Your Grunkle doesn’t have supernatural insurance!”

Hank just looked up from his book for a second before returning to it with a quiet smile.

* * *

When Henry and Mabel arrived back at the Shack they found five sleeping bodies, all in a pile, and two of them drooling slightly. She smiled at Henry and held out her hand. “Pay up.”

“Well  _pardon me_  for not knowing your brother and Stan as well as you do,” Henry huffed, handing his wife a crisp twenty.

“It’s not Stan and Dipper I bet on,” She replied, pocketing the money and smiling mischievously. After kissing him on the cheek she gestured upstairs. “The night is still young!”

Henry glanced at his sleeping family and then back at wife. “Fine but we’re using protection. I think three is _more_ than enough.”


	17. "Toucha Toucha Toucha Touch Me" by IllumiNaughty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by some really bad slashfiction that I read one time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: kinda lemon-ish??? IDK it gets close to porn but not really. Also language.

> **A pre-transcendence human!AU DemonWood fic I thought up when I was thinking about how human both Alcor and the Woodsman look and how effing HOT they are. Lemon. PWP :3c**

Walter blushed heavily. Why was he calling him out in the middle of the hallway on Valentines’ Day like this? Unheard of. Alan was everything Walter was not: tall, handsome, popular. He had friends in the highest circles and was the quarterback! Why would he even be talking to a nerd like him?

“Y-yes?” Walter stuttered, his cheeks a much darker red than he ever thought possible.

“You’re smart, right?” Alan asked, his golden eyes staring directly into Walter’s light blue ones.

His heart sank. “Yeah. I guess…”

“I need help on this math test coming up and I was wondering if you would tutor me.” Why was Alan asking him for help when he could just demand he do it? It was mysterious to say the least. “Would you mind?”

“N-not at all.”

“Cool. Then I’ll see you at my place after school. You and I can walk there together cause it’s not too far.” After seeing the disbelief on Walter’s face Alan frowned, “Unless you’d rather go to your place to study?”

“No! I mean,” Walter looked away, irritated at his inability to say what was on his mind, “It’s fine. That’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“Great. I’ll see you by the B-hall entrance after school then!” Alan waved chipperly at Walter and walked away just as the late bell rang.

“ _Shit_!” Walter hissed as he broke into a light jog and then a galloping run, his long legs carrying him towards his destination as quickly as he could. Still…if getting to class late was the trade-off for getting to spend time with Alan, then he would gladly accept a tardy. His heart raced as he thought of all the times he would gently guide Alan’s hand across the paper to show him the right answers and how much time they would spend in close proximity to each other. Maybe this was a good thing.

Maybe.

* * *

 

Walter could barely keep from yelling out how excited he was to be so close to his crush. He clutched his book close to his chest as he waled next to Alan, making sure to take slow strides so the smaller boy could keep up and lead the way to his home. As they rounded a the corner of Wisteria Road and River Drive, Alan pointed out a house and said, “There’s my place.”

_Holy shit he is rich!_  Walter was stunned at how massive Alan’s house was. Two–or maybe three if you counted what looked like a basement–floors, a large porch with a hot-tub in it, and a two-door garage separated from the house itself. Their front yard was about the size of Walter’s entire home! “Your house is nice…,” he murmured as he took in the sights.

“Thanks. It’s usually pretty empty though. My parents are usually at work so I get the place to myself a lot.” He unlocked the front door and walked in, taking his shoes off at the entrance to the foyer. “Come in! My room’s upstairs!”

Walter took off his high-tops, stooping low to untie the laces and gently set them aside, and walked in. The inside was just as elegant as the outside, with some sort of french rococo design going on and high-tech  _everything_. Alan walked to the end of the foyer and gestured him to go left. Walter followed, a bit like a lost puppy, eyes still drinking in every bit of this rare specimen of a house. He wanted to be an architect so the build and design of this building was interesting to say the least. When he reached to top of the stairs–cherry hardwood with a small bit of carpeting for traction–Alan beckoned him onto the third room on the right. Walter was partially hoping that whatever awaited him behind the door was just as magnificent as the rest of the house.

He was not disappointed.

Alan’s room was large, far larger than his own, and well-decorated too. He had a queen-sized bed all to himself, an ornate dresser and chest of drawers set, nightstands and touch-lamps, and a wooden desk with a state-of-the-art desktop on it. While Walter took in the sights, Alan threw his bag on the floor and flopped on his bed.

“Man,” he sighed, “finally!”

Walter was confused. “W-what do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m finally alone with you.”

Walter flushed again and began to sweat, backing against the door in his embarrassment. “ _What_?” He squeaked, voice cracking from the emotional duress he was under.

“You honestly think I really wanted help with my math test?” Alan looked at Walter, one eyebrow arching in amusement.

“ _Maybe_?”

Alan laughed and Walter was torn between being very aroused and very scared. “Nah. I’ve got that test under control. What I really wanted was  _you_.”

“ _But--_ ” Walter cleared his throat and started over, “but won’t Mira be mad at you? I mean, you two  _are_  dating aren’t you?.”

“It’s an open relationship. Besides, she’s been having sex with half the school anyways. I figure it's  _my_  turn to have some fun.”

“So I’m your fun?” Walter felt his face growing redder and redder as each moment passed; first with the thought of being alone with Alan and then with the realization that he was used.

“I mean, not in the cheap way. I really,  _really_  like you. Have for a while. Tall guys just make me  _so horny_ …”

Walter reddened further.  _Shit, was this really happening?_

“Look, you can say no, but I’ve seen the way you look at me and you’ve got it  _bad_. I’m just offering you a way to blow off some steam.” Alan waved his hand about, gesticulating lazily as he reclined on his bed. Walter could see his abs.

_Holy shit he’s ripped._  He felt himself rise to the occasion and pondered his decision for a bit. Fuck the hottest boy in school because he’s bored or masturbate alone?

Fucking Alan seemed like the smarter option.

Walter nodded and Alan grinned, discarding his shirt and…


	18. I Found You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [maeblueisanerd](http://maeblueisanerd.tumblr.com) Prompted:  
>  Dipper and the crowded city

Dipper sometimes couldn’t stand crowded cities. Too many bodies, too much energy, too much temptation. It was hard to drift silently though crowds without tasting some of their energy or pulling a prank on the more unsuspecting ones. Even worse was when he ran into a supernatural creature posing as a human or a human with the Sight. They would either gape and stare or look like they were going to vomit. There was no in-between.

However, Dipper thought as he drifed above the crowded street, there is an upside.

Without saying a single word, he dove towards Hank and poked him in the side. “Found you.”

“Aw, dangit!” Hank pouted up at his uncle. “You’re too good at this! No fair floating!”

“Well maybe,” Dipper chuckled, ruffling Hank’s ginger locks, “You should find a place with more redheads, huh? You won’t stand out that much that way.”

“You still cheated,” Hank grumbled, but a small smile was creeping across his features and eventually he laughed, pointing Dipper towards the FAO Shwarz, “Acacia is hiding there and Willow went to get a hot dog.”

“Thanks Dog Star. Now go tackle your mom. I spotted her by the fountain, kissing on your dad.”

“Ew,” the young boy pulled a face and Dipper chuckled as he ran off to sabotage his parents’ ‘alone time’.

Crowded cities were hard to deal with sometimes but playing plain-sight hide and seek was fun for everyone involved.


	19. Freakshow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> If prompts are still open, Stan, his nephew the demon and his nephew in law with the antlers

_We could start a freak show and rake in money with this assortment of weirdos,_  Stan thought as he watched his nephew and nephew-in-law argue over decorating Hank’s antlers.  _I mean, who'dve thunk that a lonely old man would not only become the guardian of a girl and her demon twin brother, but that same old man would fins himself with a somewhat-demon-somewhat-human nephew-in-law and three great great niblings?_

Not Stan, that’s for sure.

_Honestly though,_  Stan thought as Hank and Dipper wrestled on the floor of the Shack,  _It’s not all bad. At least they have each other and at least they have me._

_And at least I have them…_

And that was okay.


	20. Alcor and Sarva

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> Henry and Dipper, Alcor and the Woodsman, back to back badasses?

Henry could feel the energy surging through his body. While this wasn’t exactly a situation he liked being in, he drew comfort from the axe in his hand and the antlers on his head. And being back to back with Alcor the Dreambender, who’s hands were alight with demonic blue flames, made it that much cooler.

Now if only the damn cult would back off.

“ ** _You've made a terrible mistake_** ,” Henry intoned, staring down the nearest cultist. “ ** _You should leave now_**.”

“We will not leave until our Lord, the Great Immareth the Embalmer, is satisfied.” The leader of the cult cried. “He demands sacrifice and we plan to give Him the whole of Gravity Falls as an offering. Then He will bring about the end-of-times and we will be free to eternally serve Him.”

Henry could just hear the capital ‘H’ in 'Him’. _Ugh…_

“ **This is your final warning.** ” Dipper said, his high, reedy voice an odd contrast to Henry’s deep rumble.

“You will have to slaughter us all!” Henry’s heart sank but he tightened his grip on his axe and set the head ablaze.

“ ** _So be it._** "

They were swift and merciful. Henry’s axe took many hands, which almost immediately swung from his antlers and Dipper was just as quick, making sure to remove their voices or bits of them so they would no longer be able to summon, or worship, Immareth again.

“ **You will suffer,** " Dipper warned the cult as they cowered in fear from the two before them, “ **and you will remember that Gravity Falls belongs to me and me alone. I will not tolerate any other demon trying to take it from me. Now go.** "

Henry let go of the energy that made him the Woodsman once every last one of them were gone, then emptied his stomach. It was a combination of demonic energy and the thought of all the people whose lives they had just ruined that caused him to spew violently. Dipper just rubbed his back softly, in small circles, until Henry was done.

“Sorry it had to go like that but would you rather I killed them?” Henry never killed, even when he was the Woodsman he preferred to main rather than kill. He shook his head and Dipper picked up his brother-in-law. “C'mon. Stan’s making meat and we don’t wanna miss that, do we?” Without another word, they tesseracted away, leaving behind only scorched ground and a ruined circle as a reminder of the battle that went down.


	21. Worth It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> Prompt: Henry's antlers are visible to people with the sight, right? So a little kid coming into the library and him finding out they can see them, and letting them play with the branches or blossoms.

Henry was kind of conscious about his antlers. Sure, most of the time they weren’t visible to people, or to himself, but anyone and everyone who had the Sight could see them 24/7 and that meant some weird glances from the local supernatural folk and the occasional Gifted person. It was weird how they changed to reflect the seasons and would bloom and sprout leaves and then the leaves would fall. It was eerie how the hands attached to them would only appear when he got really angry or distressed. The whole thing was a chip in Henry’s shoulder.

But what made it all worth it was when little kids, younger than his own, would arrive in the library, hurry around to find books they’d like, and stop to gaze in awe at the wooden things branching from his head.

“Are you a fairy?” The kids usually asked, eyes wide and glimmering.

Henry would shake his head and bend down so he was eye-level with them. “No. Fairies are really tiny and vicious. They’ve got sharp teeth like this,” he’d pantomime fangs, “and wings like insects. I’m closer to a dryad, a forest spirit. They live inside of trees and help things grow and when there is someone they like, they’ll dance with them and bring them gifts.”

And the little child, still in awe, would reach out a hand to the antlers and Henry, understanding some children don’t know how to ask, would allow them to pluck a leaf or flower or twig from them. “You keep that safe,” he’d whisper to them, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, “And if you’re ever feeling down, just look at this and remember that you’re friends with a dryad. And that means you’re special.” Then he would ask what kind of books the kid would like and guide them to the proper area but he knew; he knew he had made a difference.

And that made it all worth it.


	22. This is Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> A scene from Twin souls: the Movie? I can't believe they made a movie of it. That crappy novel that is so wrong....just wrong.

Hank wasn’t sure why he was allowing this. Hank, Lucy Ann, and Oonagh—who had come out of the water just for such an occasion—were going to sit through all two hours of what Hank believed to be the worst adaptation of the worst book in history, coming in a close second with _Fifty Shades of Grey_. He regretted ever letting the Californian selkie drag him into this. It was her idea in the first place.

_Twin Souls, more like please Alcor take my soul._  Hank begrudgingly bought a ticket and toyed with the idea of summoning Uncle Dipper before deciding that it would be too much effort to explain the whole thing to his uncle and he really didn’t feel like giving up a twenty dollar bag of popcorn to hear him bitch about how awful the film was. So he suffered in silence as the previews rolled.

* * *

 

It was much worse than he thought. Not only was the man they hired to play Alcor wearing a very bad wig, but his accent! He had a pompous British accent and the woman playing Mizar looked about fifteen. Plus the BDSM and the whole ‘possession’ scene! Yuck. Currently Mizar was staring into the eyes of her currently enraged lover and trying to calm him down.

“No Alcor! You don’t need to do this! I’m fine, see?”

_God she sounds like a child…_

“ **No! You don’t understand! They hurt you! So I’m going to make sure they never hurt you again..**.”

_They must’ve used a really cheap synth engine for the demonic echo and whatnot. I could’ve gotten a better effect in Audacity with some pitching, volume control, and reversing a few samples._

“Don’t hurt them! You’re _better_ than this, I know you!”

_Oh! I saw the boom mic!_

“ **You know _nothing_! I’m a demon Mizar, a _demon_. I feast on the souls and flesh of your kind. What makes you think I won’t eat you like I’m going to eat them?** ”

_Melodramatic speech ho. At least they quoted the book here._ Hank was only slightly grateful his mom had read those books aloud when they were younger. Slightly…

“Because you love me!”

“ **I am incapable of love!** ”

_Aaaaand there’s the kicker. That’s the climax right there which means this will be another,_ he checked his watch and groaned, _thirty minutes of horrific content…_ Well at least the ladies were having fun. He looked over to see Vivi looking at her phone and Lucy Ann asleep. _Okay, maybe only Oonagh._


	23. Tough Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> Stan watching out for Mabel and Dipper (yeah sure Dipper is a demon and Mabel can knock you out but still...)

Stan would never admit it to anyone but, he worried for his great-niblings. He worried for them like they were his own kids, which isn’t saying much after what happened in Piedmont. And despite their obvious setbacks, he still looked out for them.

Sure, one was a demon and the other was a demon hunter, but that didn’t mean that an aging human couldn’t be a badass protector if he wanted. Even if people might think that his ways of ‘protecting’ them was a little weak and soft. But he didn’t think so and fuck anyone who said he was ‘weak’.

When Mabel came home one day, worn out and upset, Stan was the one to take them to Greasy’s Diner and “steal” a large plate of flapjacks and maple syrup. When Dipper materialized one day, looking twelve again and crying as hard as he could after seeing a child sacrifice, Stan drew up a summoning circle and gave him all the leftover Summerween candy in exchange for him coming to movie night corporeal. They watched one of Dipper’s favorites and MSTed it the whole time, leaving the three of them—plus Soos and Mabel’s friends Candy and Grenda—in stitches. When Dipper went on a rampage, he put on his bravest face and stepped in between him and Mabel, taking the brunt of a demonic tantrum straight to the chest. It left him winded and a bit sore after a while, but Dipper snapped out of it pretty quick and even offered some of his energy to heal it. (Stan refused under the guise of being a 'tough old codger’ but he really just wanted to teach Dipper that he can’t fly off the handle like that.)

Sure, his ways of looking out for them were unconventional, but he loved those kids like they were his. And in a way, they were.


	24. The Weight of Sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> Willow and Henry, after the Woodsman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this, I forgot that it was WILLOW and Henry and not MABEL and Henry. Whoops...

Henry couldn’t meet his wife’s eyes after the fact. He had allowed for his daughter to be kidnapped and nearly killed by some hyper-religious freaks and then borrowed some of Dipper’s power and cut off their hands. He was pretty sure that, had his intent not been to keep Willow safe, he would have done more than _just_ cut off their hands.

Still, the reminder of his deeds rattled around in the invisible antlers he now had like some perverse wind-chimes.

It got to a point where even Stan knew to leave well enough alone, and that meant a lot.

The subject wasn’t breached until the kids had gone to bed and the two of them were finally alone. Mabel tackled Henry to the ground and hog-tied him with her demon-capturing know-how (and a few things Wendy had taught her). He struggled as best he could and yelled but she just sat on top of him, looked him dead in the eyes, and told him to spill.

So he did.

And it was better than keeping it in because she untied him, looked straight at his antlers–he had forgotten that she had the Sight thanks for Dipper–and stroked one of the curving pieces of wood. There was no fear in her eyes, no revulsion, and like a heavy weight had lifted from his chest, he felt free. And the hands that adorned his antlers like gory chimes disappeared to be replaced with small blooms of flowers that rained petals on his shoulders.

And he could live with that.


	25. Shipping War (or: Why MAGiPEDiA No Longer Has a Forum)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> Online message board conversation with Alcor/Mizar/the triplets when they find an online forum and decide to check it out all at once?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember this one...it was hard to do. Also: none of the links work. They just redirect you to Tumblr. PPS: Herm1 is meant to be read "Hermi-one" or "Hermone" or even "Hermione". So yeah...

**MAGiPEDiA**  
[Forums](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D)>[Occult](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D)>[Demons](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D)>[Alcor](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D)>[Misc](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D)

**_Topic: Shipping_ **

[MyShootingStar](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): To those who have read the Twin Souls books (love them by the way) what is your favorite pairing? Mine is, of course, MiCor! They’re just so cute the way they compliment each other! And Gliese is SUPER adorable!!!!

Opinions?

[BrightOne](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): Well I’m more partial to MiMan as opposed to MiCor. There never really seemed to be the same chemistry between Mizar and Alcor as there was between her and the Woodsman. I mean, after the whole fight scene, when **[SPOILER]** they just seemed more human together than Mizar and Alcor. More…love between them as opposed to pure lust.  
 _EDIT: Mod C cut out all spoilers related to the Twin Souls series since many people haven’t finished them all or are waiting for the movies to come out._

[SweaterWeather](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): IDK I really like MiCor best! I mean, they’re super duper cute, the two of them! The way they just gaze into each other’s eyes all the time? PERFECT.

Besides, nothing can top the love of the Twin Souls. :3

[Herm1](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): nah, I have to disagree here. I am absolutely <3 for WoodCor. Can you imagine them fighting over Mizar and then hate-boning?

[Alcor618](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. FUCK YOU. NO. FUCK YOU ALL. FIRST YOU BRING UP THAT ABOMINATION AND THEN YOU BRING UP THE FUCKING SHIPPING. NO. GOT TO HELL.  
 _FLAGGED for excessive cursing and lack of relevance to the topic at hand. This is your first warning – Mod C_

[Herm1](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D); lol. Someone’s got his panties in a twist.  
 _FLAGGED for lack or relevance to the topic at hand. This is your first warning – Mod C_

[SweaterWeather](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): Seriously though, how could you not like MiCor? SUPER CUTE <3!!!

[Alcor618](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): BECAUSE HE’S HER BROTHER!!! And is that you Mabel? Cause I can hear you laughing from the other room! Don’t make me come in there.  
 _FLAGGED for lack of relevance to the topic at hand. This is your second warning – Mod C_

[Herm1](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): Looks like the lovebirds are fighting <3 ;3  
 _FLAGGED for lack of relevance to the topic at hand. This is your second warning – Mod C_

[Alcor618](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): HOW ABOUT YOU BE QUIET TOO ACACIA WENDY PINES BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AND MAKE YOU BE QUIET.  
 _FLAGGED for lack of relevance to the topic at hand. This is your final warning. Further flagging will result in being banned. – Mod C_

[MyShootingStar](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): um guys…this is a bit much for my tastes could you, like take it elsewhere? And Herm1 I do like WoodCor as a bit of a side-thing. Maybe even a OT3 deal…idk…

[Herm1](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): ehh…not so into the OT3 deal…gets a bit messy for me. Maybe WoodCor and GlieZar. Always one for the gay babies. ;3

[SweaterWeather](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): Atta girl!  
 _FLAGGED for lack of relevance to the topic at hand. This is your first warning – Mod C_

[BrightOne](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): Still over here in the MiMan corner I suppose.

[MyShootingStar](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): Yeah, sorry. Not my cup of tea. Not that it’s bad or anything.

[SweaterWeather](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): Of course MiMan and MiCor are great but imagine this: MiManCor the OT3 of all OT3s

[Alcor618](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): I SWEAR I WILL COME OVER THERE AND SHUT DOWN THIS THREAD I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MABEL YOU BETTER STOP! YOU TOO ACACIA!  
 _[Alcor618](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D) has been BANNED by Mod C_

[SweaterWeather](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): HAHAHAHAHA I CAN’T BELIEVE HE GOT BANNED!  
 _FLAGGED for lack of relevance to the topic at hand. This is your second warning – Mod C_

[BrightOne](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): I never was big on OT3s though. Something about shipping one chick and two guys skeeved me out. Not that polyamory isn’t a THING per se, as it isn’t MY thing. Yanno?

[SweaterWeather](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): SO I was thinkging thwat jospdsn nckl slnlncnx jel jadjlejledkjJL  
 _FLAGGED for lack of relevance to the topic at hand. This is your final warning. Further flagging will result in being banned. – Mod C_

[Herm1](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): Alcor’s revenge!  
 _FLAGGED for lack of relevance to the topic at hand. This is your final warning. Further flagging will result in being banned. – Mod C_

[MyShootingStar](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): Ehh..OT3’s aren’t everyone’s thing. I know someone who’s into OT5’s Not my thing either.

[SweaterWeather](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): MY NAME IS MABEL PINES AND I AM A nice try dipper you sickojsn FUCK THE MODS ALL HAIL ALCOR!!!  
 _[SweaterWeather](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D) has been BANNED by Mod C_

[Herm1](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D): And there goes mom. That was ALL HAIL ALCOR THE MIGHTY DREAMBENDER MAY THE DEMONS BELOW PRAISE HIS NAME FUCK SEX FUCK FUCK  
 _[Herm1](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftumblr.com&t=ZmNlNTgzYjEwNjI4MTNhMGViZjU0Mjc4YTlhY2RjMzBjNWJhMjhjZSx3ekxQTUd2Wg%3D%3D) has been BANNED by Mod C_

**_THIS THREAD HAS BEEN LOCKED BY MOD C DUE TO TROLLING AND SPAMMING_ **


	26. Fledgling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon Prompted:  
> How about Alcor getting a summon from a flipping fledgling girl god that can easily match his powers at the time this fic takes place and good lord he knows that face from his fangirls how to turn this one down. Turns out that while the god is crushing on him she's more interested to have him as guide to the human world because she's too young to jump dimensions and promised her parents to have a chaperone if she wants to 'visit the mortal planes'. They had good time and forge allegiance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...really don't like this one. The 'prompt' was way too specific and I didn't like how all the plot points were handed to me on a platter. IDK...no offense meant to the asker I just...like freedom, yanno?

Dipper was looking at the girl standing in front of him, trying to decide whether or not it was a good idea to have answered this particular summons. He had had a weird feeling about this one anyways but when it tugged at him stronger than any other, virgin blood or otherwise, and it was…odd. What greeted him at the end of the summons was not what he expected, however.

I mean, who expected to see a young goddess summoning a demon. Certainly not the demon in question.

“ **WHO DARES SUMMON THE MIGHTY ALCOR THE DREAMB** —you’re not human.”

“Does it look like I’m human?” The girl cocked on hand on her hip and smirked. Dipper immediately recognized that face.

“Oh _no_ , you’re one of my fangirls aren’t you?” _Abort mission. Escape, escape!_

He couldn’t.

“Nice try, but I reinforced the circle so you couldn’t escape. I have demands and they are going to get met.” She leaned in closer and Dipper could smell the distinct odor of cinnamon. _Ick_.

“Demands?” Dipper was playing it as cool as he could under the circumstances _. Don’t let her know you’re kinda skeeved out…gods can smell fear? I think…_

“I need,” she leaned in closer, a mischievous grin spreading across her face, “a chaperon.”

Dipper blinked in surprise, wings folding closed as he floated to the ground, not even realizing he had been hovering nervously a foot up. “Pardon?”

“I need a chaperon. To the human world.” She repeated, gesturing ‘out there’ vaguely.

“Why?” Dipper had completely forgotten about the whole omniscience thing for a moment, so stunned that a goddess was asking him to chaperon her visit to the human world.

“Not a full-fledged goddess yet. Just a little minor one. I don’t have the strength to really handle anything big if I were attacked so my parents told me I needed a chaperon. Who better to protect me in the human realm than Alcor the Dreambender.” Dipper could hear the little hearts dotting her speech.

“And what would _I_ get out of this?” If it was a date she wanted—which it definitely was—he was going to get something rather significant out of this.

She blushed and twirled a strand of hair around her finger, “A kiss?”

"Nice try,” he deadpanned, smirking at the disappointment, “Something a bit more valuable than that.”

She looked only _mildly_ disappointed, as if she knew it wouldn’t work. With a small wave of her hand she sighed, “Well how about this? My tears heal wounds. Just about any external wound you could come across. I’ll get you a small bottle of them and use them in our barter.”

“ _Barter_ is not a term I would use in the presence of a demon, ma'am.” Dipper replied cooly. Still, that seemed to be a sufficient price so, with much trepidation, he shook his head and held out his hand. “We have a deal, miss–?”

“Europa,” she grabbed on to his hand and vigorously pumped it, “And I’ll be right back with that vial.”

_What had he gotten himself into?_

* * *

  
The answer was: not that much. While Europa was, at heart, an Alcor fangirl, she _did_ understand his desire for there to be a lack of physical affection and maintained a platonic outlook on their outing. There was no kissing, no hugging, and not much in the hand-holding department. Also, the boost in Dipper’s powers allowed him to manifest and he took the form of a gangly, pimply teenager alongside Europa’s youthful human form.

They went everywhere they could in the span of thirteen hours, tessering from the sunny beaches of Florida to the chilly peaks of the Rocky Mountains. The two of them actually had a few pleasant exchanges, resulting in some development of inside jokes–a few of which were just plain absurd. In the end, she calmly thanked him for his time and they parted ways–but not before she offered him a small hug and a thank you.

_Maybe confronting my fangirls wasn’t such a bad idea after all. I mean, if Europa was so understanding, then the rest should be_.

**WRONG.**


End file.
